river return
long walks and swimming in red black waters
For at least the last seven months I have had the dream and desire to go to the river for a long cold swim and to be washed off and massaged by a waterfall. Last December I moved apartments and have been in full swing of organizing my space and imbuing it with my energy by creating in the space and hosting friends- imbuing the space with laughter, food and joy.
The specific river that I wanted to visit is in Bahia’s national park, Chapada Diamantina, which is a 7 hour bus ride away and I couldn´t figure out the right moment to go in the midst of the move and fundraising for my art studio and wellness space. A part of me was also pushing to get to a certain place with my fundraising and work - essentially I realized that part of me felt that I had to earn the time to go, to rest, to swim.
This realization was startling for me, because I very intentionally incorporate movement, making juices, fresh foods and looking at the sky into my everyday life as much as I can. I see myself as pouring into self care while building my art practice and so it was shocking to realize that I had been moving in a way where I was telling myself that I didn´t deserve to pause just yet. That I was operating from a space of more and more work, while engaging in acts of self care that are integral to my everyday. But as a friend mentioned to me recently, our acts of self devotion and rest must be renewed, what worked before isn´t always what we need currently.
So, a huge catalyst for this trip was when the logic board of my computer failed about three weeks ago. It happened about two days after I was in the ocean with a new friend, telling her that I had been working day in and day out in front of the screen and she gently nudged me to take a break- and reminded me that clarity comes with ease. A few days before this conversation another friend urged me to step away from the phone and relax and another suggested taking a day or two away from the city where I live.
But it wasn’t until my computer failed that these gentle reminders crystalized. The first two days of trying to figure out the repair definitely involved panic, spiraling and shock. Why now, when I am working so very hard?
But then I came to realize that the hard work may be exactly the why.
I took my computer to a local shop and they said that they needed about five days to do the diagnostic. So, I left it with them and decided to head to a friend’s house outside of the city with my cat.
I felt immediate relief upon arrival and felt such happiness with them. We took walks, night bike rides, cooked food, laughed, took outdoor showers and I tried surfing for the first time. I felt true relaxation for the first time in a while and felt my curiosity begin to swirl. The friends I stayed with are newer friends who I´ve known less than a year and it was our first time spending many consecutive days together and it was so wonderful to simply see them together and ask them questions and learn new recipes with them and nap. And also to see my cat exploring their yard very shyly.
Once I returned home from their place I knew it was river time. I wanted to deepen the relaxation I had just connected with and I had also noticed how my creativity and ideas and excitement surged just from being in a new environment. It definitely also reminded me that a big part of why I moved to Brazil is to connect with the land here and with many communities through travel and being in different regions and specifically small towns, like the one I grew up in, in South Carolina.
I learn so much when I am in smaller towns whenever I am traveling. I really appreciate not only the pace of small towns but also the conversations that unfold in slowness, outside, over food, near a fire that may get a bit rushed when I am in a bigger city.
I made the decision to go to Chapada Diamantina and before I could overthink it, I booked a place to stay that was built and hosted by Black people local to the region. I booked a two bedroom, even though I intended to travel alone, because I felt and thought that maybe a randomness may occur that led me to meet a travel partner or a new friend.
And that I did.
A few days before my trip a friend who lives in Rio asked if they could introduce me to a friend of theirs who would be passing through Salvador and I said yes. This year I have been allowing myself to say yes to these sorts of introductions more often and it has truly been such a joyful decision. After a few text exchanges, the friend of a friend and I met at the beach and proceeded to talk for about an hour or so before even getting into the water. I just knew and felt to mention the trip and invite her. I was a bit nervous because we had just met and upon telling her my plans she mentioned that she had some travel plans for the exact same dates but that she would look into it! I felt good about following my inner voice and extending the invite.
Later that evening when I arrived home, she let me know she would shift her dates around a bit so that she could join me and a few days later we were on a red-eye bus to the mountains.
We arrived at 6:30am and took a van into a smaller city where we would stay and spend the next few days hiking, river swimming and looking at the stars.
We bought fruit upon our arrival, went to what would be our home for the next few days and slept , recovering from the long bus and van rides. Upon waking, we took a small walk to a nearby river, not to enter but just to sit with it and listen and take in our new environment. We were introducing ourselves to the space and preparing for a 14km hike on the following day and taking it slowly.
I was excited for the upcoming hike because I had done it a few times and each time was so different on my body and within my mind, I also envisioned gliding into the reddish black river water that we would have to cross to get to the Fumaça waterfall.
The following morning, we got up early for our hike and made a big breakfast with many fruits like mango and papaya, avocado, fresh bread, eggs and arugula and delicious coffee from the region. After eating we headed out to the entrance to the hiking trail which was about 2.5km from where we were staying. The hike itself is about two hours, from the entrance to the waterfall and two hours back, totaling to over four hours of trekking not including getting to and from the entrance. Knowing this we allowed ourselves lots of breaks, breathing, laughter, and looking out at the many vistas along the way. There was no rush.
And we reminded ourselves of that throughout our time walking and climbing.
Once we approached the near two hour mark I felt a bit of impatience from both of us. It is as if simultaneously we both were like, ok… when will we get there??? And even though the route was super direct and I had done it more than once, in some moments I questioned, are we going the right way? Just as these thoughts came in the air cooled, from the dry flat plane we had been walking on for the last 45 minutes and the dirt appeared darker and there was more vegetation, signaling that we were getting closer to the river! I also began to see many blue dragonflies and it felt as if they were leading us to where we needed to go.
It was so beautiful.
Just as my new friend began to ask how much further, I heard voices in the distance and a couple speaking French were climbing up and out of the river! We asked them if they had seen the waterfall and they said yes and pointed in the direction of lush green where the waterfall was nestled. I knew that before we went to the waterfall that the move was to cool our bodies down after hours of walking. And I guided us to cut left to walk along a rocky river so that we could enter a grotto-like space with many rocks and so much moss! On our way we saw these little beings called moco who are tiny and in the capybara family. They were rock hopping across and along the river. It seemed and felt like so many of the beings of that space were leading us right to where we were headed and affirming the direction that we were walking toward.
A few more steps and we walked towards where the river opened out, the sun gleaming, the water so dark and red and iron filled.
We began to place our items down on a nearby rock and made conversation with a few people who were sitting in the sun. I could not have taken my shorts and top off faster, I was so excited and grateful. I walked up to the edge of the rock and river, kneeled down and eased into the ice cold river water.
Exhaling, laughing, submerging and feeling myself cool and settle from the inside out.
