interdependence
I’ve been away from writing for a bit and noticing that a lot of the processing that I had been doing while in the water and swimming is coming up and through my hands as I’ve been crocheting and working on a series of blankets, and sewing new quilts - while thinking of ways to expand the dream line as well.
The indoor processing as been activating my dreams in a different way and my dreams often take on different tone, in terms of shifts in visuals and messages at the turn of seasons.
Community has been coming a lot in my dream space lately. Specifically how we build networks of care that are loose and how to work towards those that are more structured. A lot about creating care while In the process of aging has come up as I reflect on so many elders who have been living in their homes alone during the pandemic, particularly, my mother. While they may live alone there are often neighbors and family members who show up with a meal, to chit chat, to spend time but I also wonder about the impact of the time alone and the exhaustion and pent up fear of the last few years how that has been affecting the bodies and physical health of elders. And have witnessed the impact on my my own mothers health.
I went to a craft fair behind my house a few weekends ago and I ran into a friend of a friend who has a crochet apparel line that she runs with her mother. When I saw her a smile immediately spread across my face and I went to hug her, she reached for her mother and introduced us, telling her mother how we were connected through a mutual friend and we all hugged and held each other. I spoke with her about how I’ve been crocheting more and I how I loved what she was doing, I began asking her if she could make commissioned pieces and then I finally asked her how she got started with her line.
She shared with me that her mother had always had the practice of crocheting and so did she, but during the pandemic she noticed that her mother, who previously wasn’t as sedentary, began to become physically ill and she could also see the impact that being indoors was having on her memory, she said that it was at that time that she proposed to her mother that they start the line together. As a way for them to do something fun and for her to become more active again.
I thanked her for sharing that story and mentioned that I would love to teach my mother crochet whenever I am in South Carolina again and in addition to crochet began to think of ways to support her from afar.
After this conversation and in the relationship to some personal things coming up around family my dream world has been swirling and in deep conversation with elders within my family, the family of close friends and those who I don’t seem to know or recognize. The themes are often around feelings of family obligation to caring for elders. For me upon waking the processing of the feelings of obligation that feel very tied to my southern upbringing has been dense to sort through - and has led me to be in deep conversation, as honest as I can, about how I do want to show up to care for others and the ways that I don’t and working not to have shame around the ways that I don’t want to. I thank my friends and my dream world for supporting me through that processing.
Other themes present in the dreams have been around celebrations of life and gatherings to support elders and even elder centered mutual aid projects. Which have me thinking about the people and friends I would love to have around in older age.
I woke up this morning thinking about interdependence and recognizing the need to re-examine my connection to this word and what it means to me. My birthday is coming up and I am reflecting on place and community very deeply and so I am grateful that this word made it’s way back into my thinking at this moment and grateful for the unfolding, shedding, the deepening closeness , the new bonds and the building that will come as a result of me coming closer to identifying what does interdependence look like for me in this moment and beyond.
In terms of Herbal Support that I have been leaning into for the past month, I’ve been deepening with Skullcap and Blue Lotus.
skullcap - skullcap is a nervine and a sedative. i have needed some extra support with sleep and not waking up throughout the night and skullcap has been supportive in that. skullcap is supportive when dealing with stress, ptsd, muscle tension.
blue lotus- I had been drinking this delicious flower with lemon balm, I love the taste. It has brought clarity in messages in sleeping dreams and waking dreams, synchronicity, third eye support. I now blend it with skullcap, which I drink a cup of before bed to support restful sleep.
*skullcap is not to be used during pregnancy and since it’s a sedative if you consume during the day, just be careful with operating machinery!
Thank you for reading.
Love,
Charmaine